I am watching a video where mothers introduce their newborn babies to their dogs. It’s heartwarming to see how the dogs react to the babies. How they automatically help when the baby is crying by putting their head close to the baby. And to see the reaction when the baby starts to smile.

These sequences tap into something deep down buried in my heart. Tears come to my eyes. I realise and remember what should have been. What was foreseen for me in this life.

I do understand especially now in this moment, that there is free will in our universe.

It was my free will to decide against being a mother. I made that decision consciously! I did not want to ruin my figure, I did not want to put on weight, I did not want to have stretch marks. I did not want to…!

Only now do I understand what was foreseen for me in this life.

I should have been a young mother. My first baby would have been a beautiful girl. Her spirit and soul would have chosen the name Destiny.

She would have given me the greatest lessons to be learned in life. To be there no matter what, to protect this new life with everything I could give and to be able to experience unconditional love. Yes, only as a mother I would have been able to experience and give this energy what we call unconditional love to my little baby.

My grandmother comes to my mind. She had 3 children, the last gift from the universe was given to her 1956. She was 46 years old when she gave birth to a baby boy and at that time it was rather unusual in Switzerland to have a child at such a late age.

The boy was baptised with the name of Urs. Right from the start of his life Ursli had health challenges. He had water in the lungs, could not sit straight and he had trisomy 21. After 14 months on our earth, his spirit together with his soul decided to leave. Relatives, friends and people from the village came to bid the boy farewell.

I cannot imagine how difficult it must have been for my grandmother, grandfather and for the siblings to go through such times.

This all comes to my mind now and I realise that I also would have had a baby with trisomy 21.

Only today do I understand that these children are born into our world with a very special purpose. They are generally very happy, they are usually outgoing and outspoken, they do not lie and do not judge.

These children are our teachers – for the new world, for the new society.

I realise that due to my selfish and egotistical decision earlier in my life, I was not given the opportunity to learn and develop as a human being in a completely different way. I missed the possibility to experience unconditional love, to witness the growing up of such a talented being.

I realise the tears in my eyes are for my mother, for my grandmother, for all the women in my line of ancestry. For all that each of these women has lived and gone through in their lifetime.

Only for me to be born in this time and space.
Only for me to be able to wake up now and feel the vibration of my ancestors in each of my cells.
To remember what is right and what is wrong. To remember!

Dear mother, please forgive me for having been selfish at times.
Dear grandmother, please forgive me for not appreciating what you have lived through.
Dear great grandmother, please forgive me for not cherishing what you have endured.
Dear ancestors, I understand now, that what you have lived and experienced is part of me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

Sibylle Emilie Windisch, June 2026